Trump Renames ‘Greenland’ to ‘White Land’ 
Trump to Remove Indigo from Color Spectrum 
Trump Musk 
Trump to Bring Soviet-Era Bread Lines to U.S. 
Jackie Kennedy Attemps Shoe Retrieval 
Senekot Introduces New Line of Chewable Poop Gummies
Chicago (TheSkunk.org) — The brand that claims it has cleared more bowels than any competitor…
Trump Accuses Democrats of Conspiring to Vote Him Out of Office
Washington, DC (TheSkunk.org) – In a prerecorded message to his supporters, President Trump today claimed…
Lindsey Graham’s Transition to Bootlicking Toady Complete
WASHINGTON (TheSkunk.org) — The physician who performed surgery on Lindsey Graham today confirmed the South…
Trump to Provide Gold Toilets to Refugee Children
WASHINGTON (TheSkunk.org) – In order to stem off criticism aimed at the Trump administration for…
Poll: Cat Turd Leads Trump by 11 Percentage Points Nationally in Head-to-Head Matchup
WASHINGTON (TheSkung.org) – If the 2020 election were held today, a new poll shows that…
Queen Elizabeth Felt ‘Violated’ Every Time Hand Kissed
BUCKINGHAM PALACE (TheSkunk.org) – Queen Elizabeth II today revealed she felt “violated” thousands of times…
Trump Slated to Use ‘Best Words’ for State of the Union Address
As the nation braces itself for the delivery of Donald Trump’s second State of the…
Is it okay for cashiers to say ‘Merry Christmas’?
The cashier should first determine if the customer is, in fact, merry. Inquire, for example, the state of their relationships, the quantity of their 401k funds and perhaps most telling, have they had a good bowel movement today. Merry, indeed.
— Rep. Sal Dennison,
Ohio
Should Cashiers Say ‘Merry Christmas’ to customers?
Yes, but only to the Jewish ones, just to see what kind of reaction they get.
— Rabbi Moses Edelberger,
Cincinnati, Ohio
Oscars to Give Out ‘Participation’ Awards
The ceremony, to be broadcast on ABC on February 24, 2019, is estimated to run approximately 79 hours.
