Trump to Bring Soviet-Era Bread Lines to U.S. 
Jackie Kennedy Attemps Shoe Retrieval 
Disneyland to Remove Matterhorn, Replace with Tilt-A-Whirl 
Abortions Allowed in Texas if Trump is the Father 
Bezos to Send Trump to Space with Specially Selected Star Trek Shirt 
Poll: Cat Turd Leads Trump by 11 Percentage Points Nationally in Head-to-Head Matchup
WASHINGTON (TheSkung.org) – If the 2020 election were held today, a new poll shows that…
Queen Elizabeth Felt ‘Violated’ Every Time Hand Kissed
BUCKINGHAM PALACE (TheSkunk.org) – Queen Elizabeth II today revealed she felt “violated” thousands of times…
Trump Slated to Use ‘Best Words’ for State of the Union Address
As the nation braces itself for the delivery of Donald Trump’s second State of the…
Is it okay for cashiers to say ‘Merry Christmas’?
The cashier should first determine if the customer is, in fact, merry. Inquire, for example, the state of their relationships, the quantity of their 401k funds and perhaps most telling, have they had a good bowel movement today. Merry, indeed.
— Rep. Sal Dennison,
Ohio
Should Cashiers Say ‘Merry Christmas’ to customers?
Yes, but only to the Jewish ones, just to see what kind of reaction they get.
— Rabbi Moses Edelberger,
Cincinnati, Ohio
Oscars to Give Out ‘Participation’ Awards
The ceremony, to be broadcast on ABC on February 24, 2019, is estimated to run approximately 79 hours.
Trump Claims California Downpour Caused by ‘Cloud Mismanagement’
Trump criticized Governor Jerry Brown for not “de-raining” the skies in the months preceding the storm.
Should a prosecutor be able to indict a sitting President?
“Only if he’s a lying, racist, ignorant criminal. Other than that, sure, why not?”
— Dr. Franklin Bamalabiddi,
Criminology Professor,
MIT
First Lady Changes Name of ‘Be Best’ Campaign to ‘Be Da Best’
Melania Trump has decided to change the name of her anti-bullying campaign, from “Be Best” to “Be Da Best.”
Police Blame Victim for Not Changing Color Prior to Being Shot
A black man who was shot by police at a mall should have camouflaged himself by changing skin color, say authorities.
