Masturbators Choose O’Donnell Over Palin
Images of anti-masturbation crusader Christine O’Donnell, the Tea Party’s newest phenomenon, are preferred two-to-one over those of Sarah Palin, according to a survey of 1000 compulsive masturbators.
Kardashians' Dead Father to Get Reality Show
The late Robert Kardashian, an attorney who was a member of O.J. Simpson’s murder defense team and the biological father to Kim, Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian, has inked a deal to star in a new reality series for Bravo, entitled “Resurrecting Kardashian.”
Prop 8 Backers Try Again with Prop 8.5
The backers of California’s Proposition 8, the law banning same-sex marriages, which was recently declared unconstitutional by a federal judge, are confident their next legislative attempt will pass judicial muster.
Should America Scrap the Space Program?
“No. Where would we put it? I mean, our landfills are already filled to capacity.”
— Jenson Muriota,
Aspiring Sitcom Writer,
Bloomington, IN
Obama Sets Goal of Fake Mars Landing in 10 Years
WASHINGTON (TheSkunk.org) — President Obama today outlined his new direction for the space program by setting the goal of faking a landing on the surface of Mars by the end of the decade.
Murder-Suicide Attempt Thwarted when Suspect Kills Self First
SEATTLE (TheSkunk.org) — The plans of a disgruntled accountant to kill his co-workers with a handgun and then take his own life were foiled Thursday, when the distraught and confused sociopath mistakenly pulled the trigger on himself first.
Massive Water Spill Contaminates Oil Reserves
TORRANCE, CA (TheSkunk.org) — An underground water channel drilled into by the Sparkletts company burst open Saturday night, releasing millions of gallons of pure, crystal clear H2O into the oil reserves at the nearby ExxonMobil refinery.
Mel Gibson to Head RNC
In a survey taken shortly after Gibson’s infamous phone tirades against his ex-girlfriend were made public, 83% of RNC members said they “strongly admired” the epithet-spouting Oscar-winning actor.
Palin Proposes ‘Mound of Mexicans’ to Stop Oil Leak
WASILLA, AK — Sarah Palin submitted a proposal today to stop illegal immigration and the oil spill at the same time by using those who have entered this country unlawfully to form a giant “Mound of Mexicans,” large enough to plug the leak.
