Trump Renames ‘Greenland’ to ‘White Land’ 
Trump to Remove Indigo from Color Spectrum 
Trump Musk 
Trump to Bring Soviet-Era Bread Lines to U.S. 
Jackie Kennedy Attemps Shoe Retrieval 
Deer Caught in Headlights, Unable to Move
Despite ample opportunity to run to the side of the road, the animal apparently became paralyzed, allowing the two-and-a-half-ton Ford 150 to slam into it at 60 mph.
Tiger Woods to Endorse Sperm Bank
DENVER — On the heels of Gatorade and other major companies terminating their sponsorship agreements with Tiger Woods, the Heritage Sperm Repository of Colorado Springs has announced a major endorsement deal with the renowned golfer.
Palin Fans Can't Read Book
FORKS BEND, KY – Some fans of Sarah Palin were disappointed with the former Alaska Governor’s best seller, “Going Rogue,” when they realized they were unable to decipher its contents.
Bank Offers Free Anal Sex with Checking
NEW YORK — One of the nation’s hugest financial institutions is offering its customers free anal sex when they open a new account.
God Hates Newt Gingrinch
NEW YORK — The Lord God disclosed today in an interview with Keith Olbermann that he “really, really” despises former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich.
Joe Biden Crashes State Dinner
WASHINGTON — Vice President Joe Biden exposed a breach in security last week when he showed up at a White House state dinner, uninvited.
Man Gives Right Nut for a Beer
GARDEN GROVE, CA – Lee Joseph Flanders told the clerk at the corner liquor store last Wednesday that he was so thirsty he would “give his right nut for a beer,” but when he reached for his wallet to purchase a 32-ounce Molson Lager, he came up a few dollars short.
Why Dontcha Got Money?
Why Dontcha Got Money?
World Asks: Who the F*** Are Jon and Kate?
HOLLYWOOD, CA — Television personalities “Jon and Kate” are the most baffling celebrities in the history of the entertainment industry, according to a recent poll conducted by TheSkunk.org.
Americans Flee to Guatemala to Escape Bleak Job Market
GUATEMALA CITY — John Wilson holds a PhD in physics and has worked in the aerospace industry for over thirty years. Today he is selling cheese-stuffed pupusas — a native Guatemalan delicacy — from the back of a burro-driven wagon.
