Trump Musk 
Trump to Bring Soviet-Era Bread Lines to U.S. 
Jackie Kennedy Attemps Shoe Retrieval 
Disneyland to Remove Matterhorn, Replace with Tilt-A-Whirl 
Abortions Allowed in Texas if Trump is the Father 
Bank Offers Free Anal Sex with Checking
NEW YORK — One of the nation’s hugest financial institutions is offering its customers free anal sex when they open a new account.
God Hates Newt Gingrinch
NEW YORK — The Lord God disclosed today in an interview with Keith Olbermann that he “really, really” despises former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich.
Joe Biden Crashes State Dinner
WASHINGTON — Vice President Joe Biden exposed a breach in security last week when he showed up at a White House state dinner, uninvited.
Man Gives Right Nut for a Beer
GARDEN GROVE, CA – Lee Joseph Flanders told the clerk at the corner liquor store last Wednesday that he was so thirsty he would “give his right nut for a beer,” but when he reached for his wallet to purchase a 32-ounce Molson Lager, he came up a few dollars short.
Why Dontcha Got Money?
Why Dontcha Got Money?
World Asks: Who the F*** Are Jon and Kate?
HOLLYWOOD, CA — Television personalities “Jon and Kate” are the most baffling celebrities in the history of the entertainment industry, according to a recent poll conducted by TheSkunk.org.
Americans Flee to Guatemala to Escape Bleak Job Market
GUATEMALA CITY — John Wilson holds a PhD in physics and has worked in the aerospace industry for over thirty years. Today he is selling cheese-stuffed pupusas — a native Guatemalan delicacy — from the back of a burro-driven wagon.
Palin Accidentally Burns Her Own Book
ANTWILLIE, TENN — Former Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin attended a book burning rally Friday, where she unwittingly participated in the incineration of hundreds of copies of her upcoming autobiography, “Going Rogue.”
Tell-All Book Trashes William Henry Harrison Administration
A new biography hitting bookstore shelves on Friday paints a dim portrait of President William Henry Harrison.
Palin Vagina Announces Run for Senate
The vagina of former vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin announced this morning its plan to run for the Senate seat from Alaska in 2010.
