Trump to Bring Soviet-Era Bread Lines to U.S. 
Jackie Kennedy Attemps Shoe Retrieval 
Disneyland to Remove Matterhorn, Replace with Tilt-A-Whirl 
Abortions Allowed in Texas if Trump is the Father 
Bezos to Send Trump to Space with Specially Selected Star Trek Shirt 
Pelosi on McCain VP: Go Old
Representative Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House of Representatives and second-in-line for the presidency, said…
Should sex education be taught in public schools?
“Yes, but only by really hot teachers.”
–Jane Pardee,
High School Sophomore,
Fresno, CA
What Single Issue Matters to You Most?
“Why do you assume I’m single? Just because I’m a busy woman, with a fear of intimacy and a loathing for humanity, it doesn’t mean I’m not attached.”
— Sarah Howe
Realtor,
Sarasota, FL
