Cheney: Somali pirates responsible for 9/11
Former vice-president Dick Cheney said in an interview Monday that the Somali pirates who have been wreaking havoc on commercial shipping off the coast of East Africa are responsible for the World Trade Center attacks of September 11, 2001. “We know they had been plotting to hijack huge ships and ram them into skyscrapers in several metropolitan
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Pelosi on Palin: Way too Young
WASHINGTON — Representative Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House of Representatives and second in line for the presidency, expressed her disappointment in the selection of Sarah Palin as the Republican VP candidate, saying that John McCain, 72, should have
Sarah Palin to Celebrate Election Victory by Getting Pregnant
LEBANON, Ohio — Gov. Sarah Palin expects to win the vice presidency of the United States, and when she does, her fist order of business is to get herself “in a family way” — again. “How wonderful it would be to conceive a child in the
McCain Names Cheerleader Secretary of State
MINNEAPOLIS – On the tails of his controversial vice-presidential selection, Senator John McCain has made yet another startling announcement, this time telling an audience of steelworkers that 16-year-old Emma Rae Schurr of Bulls Gap, Tennessee will be his
McCain Taps Beauty Queen to Rally Horny Vote
DAYTON, OH — With the announcement of Governor Sarah Palin of Alaska — a runner-up in the 1984 Miss Alaska pageant — as his choice for vice president, Senator John McCain believes he is making progress in bringing the “horny” vote to his
McCain Selects Obama for Running Mate
ARIZONA – In a surprise move early this morning, Sen. John McCain announced that Barack Obama will be his running mate for the 2008 presidential election. “He brings a lot of voters with him,” said McCain. “He’s stronger on the economy than I am,
Obama Chooses Self for V.P.
DENVER, CO — In a stunning turn of events early this morning, Senator Barack Obama announced that he would be his own running mate in the 2008 Presidential elections. “I’ve
McCain Vetting VPs over Strip Poker
John McCain will be hosting an evening of strip poker at his ranch in Sedona, Arizona, to size-up some of the contenders he is considering as potential running mates. “It’s just a casual affair,” said McCain. “We get together, kick back a few beers and play Texas Hold ‘em until midnight —
Will Christ be McCain’s Running Mate?
Florida Governor Charlie Crist will be making the case that he should be John McCain’s running mate, by legally adding an “H” to his last name. The strategy is designed to attract the evangelical vote, long seen as an area of weakness for the McCain campaign. “I’m going to be ‘Vice
