Blagojevich appoints penis to U.S. Senate
Embattled Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich has appointed his penis to fill the U.S. Senate seat vacated by President-elect Barack Obama.
Month: 16 years ago
Palin's daughter gives birth to Democrat
The teenage daughter of former Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin gave birth to a Democrat on Sunday, marking an ironic resolution to the controversy surrounding the unwed teen mother.
Madoff Asks Government for Money to Pay Off Earlier Investors
WASHINGTON, DC — Wall Street investment manager Bernard Madoff appeared before a congressional committee Monday to ask for $60 billion to reimburse investors who have lost money with his firm in what appears to have been a massive Ponzi scam.
Santa Won't be Coming to Your Town
Santa is skipping Christmas this year. In this video, he explains why.
Toddler Throws Poo at Bush
BLOOMINGTON, IN — A toddler threw poo at President Bush during a visit to a day care center, where Bush was speaking before a group of preschoolers and their parents.
Shoes Thrown at Bush Send Message to Senator Craig
BAGHDAD – An Iraqi journalist hurled a pair of shoes at President Bush on Sunday during a press conference in his country’s capital. While Bush took the incident in stride, chalking it up to freedom of expression, Senator Larry Craig (R-ID) insisted the airborne Oxfords communicated something entirely different.
Obama's Senate Seat for Sale on eBay
SPRINGFIELD, IL — After the disclosure of Governor Blagojevich’s plan to accept a bribe in exchange for the senate seat vacated by Barack Obama, Ilinois state legislators decided to take the appointing powers out of the hands of the governor. “We weren’t completely against the idea of making money from an appointment,” said State Senator Joe Bolo, “but we wanted to do it in a fair and transparent manner. That’s when we decided to list the seat for sale on ebay.”
Should Governor Blagojevich be Removed from Office?
“Of course not. If the Governor can make a good profit on selling the vacated senate seat of Barack Obama, why penalize him? Let him sell Obama’s seat to the highest bidder, and then tax him on his earnings.”
— Dr. Edvardo Shizzle,
Bismarck, North Dakota
Man Sells Stuff on eBay to Pay for other Stuff
TRENTON — A New Jersey man sold some of his stuff on eBay last week, and plans to use the money he makes to buy other stuff.
Porn Industry to get $100 Billion in Federal Aid
WASHINGTON — Leaders in the adult entertainment industry, hit hard in the current recession, testified…
