McCain to Defend Georgia with “Surge of One”
WASHINGTON, DC — John McCain has volunteered to pilot an F-16 to confront the Russian…
Braddon Mendelson
Bush Soils Constitution
In a press conference last Friday, Dr. Lamont Dandle, head curator for the National Archives, announced that one of the remaining original, handwritten copies of the United States Constitution had been damaged beyond repair — and President Bush was to blame.
John McCain Ad | War is Good
John McCain’s new political commercial.
Congress Outsources Workload to Malaysia
WASHINGTON, DC—The United States Congress is outsourcing its workload to a contactor in Malaysia, according to a report by the U.S. Government Accountability Office. Beginning this month, the laborious task of lawmaking will be sent to the Tengku Wan Consulting and Sewage Company in Kuala Lumpur.
McCain Rejects Endorsement from Talking Jesus Head
CLEVELAND, OH – Senator McCain rejected yet another religious endorsement, today, this time from a…
Bill Clinton Kicks Reporter’s Ass
WEST PALM BEACH, FL — A reporter was nearly beaten to death last night after a confrontation with former president Bill Clinton, who was vacationing in the resort town with his family.
Barack Obama to Open for Led Zeppelin
CHICAGO — Barack Obama will be the opening act for Led Zeppelin’s “Man Are We…
Senators Seek to Legalize Bribery, Solicitation of Gay Sex
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Senators Ted Stevens (R-Alaska) and Larry Craig (R-Idaho) have introduced legislation that…
Bush Set to Attack “Life Forms” on Mars
NASA’s recent confirmation that water exists on Mars has the White House maneuvering in an…
McCain Reclassified as “Dwarf Republican”
Washington, D. C. — Taking its cue from the International Astronomical Union, which declared in…
