DENVER — A Colorado woman was accused of changing her husband’s Sleep Number on the couple’s adjustable Select Comfort mattress. Arlene Gimbleman had bought the king-size bed five years earlier as a gift for her spouse, whose lower back had been giving him problems since childhood.
Category: Culture
Larry King Researches Guest Before Interview
LOS ANGELES — CNN host Larry King stunned television viewers last week by researching the background and accomplishments of a guest prior to interviewing him on his popular cable television show.
Craigslist to Create New Section for Stalkers, Victims
SAN FRANCISCO — Craigslist officials announced today they will be adding a new category exclusively for Stalkers and Victims, in an attempt to make their Adult Services section safer for call girls, hookers and erotic masseuses.
Bad Singer Sues American Idol for Discrimination
TRENTON — An atrocious singer from New Jersey sued the producers of American Idol, claiming unfair employment practices by only hiring those with strong singing voices to participate in the popular reality series.
New Microsoft Automobile Needs Reboot
SEATTLE — Bill Gates has thrown his hat into the auto manufacturing ring. Microsoft’s first generation of vehicles will be the aptly named “Car, VER. 01,” and will feature internet connectivity and voice activated controls.
Trump Defends Miss California as "Perfectly Doable"
The growing controversy as to whether or not Miss California should keep her crown ended today when pageant owner Donald Trump declared the young beauty queen “perfectly doable.”
Gunman Targets Online University
THE INTERNET — Armed with a single Xbox controller, an assailant went on a rampage at Allerman Online University, firing hundreds of virtual rounds at student avatars and targeting the school’s About page and interactive flash instructions.
University Gunman Misses Everyone
BLOOMINGTON, IN — An armed gunman who went on a rampage at Indiana University on Thursday was unable to inflict injuries to anyone, despite firing hundreds of rounds into a crowded campus rally.
Obama Approves Sandwich-Boarding
WASHINGTON — President Barack Obama issued an Executive Order today approving the use of “Sandwich Boarding” to extract information from suspected terrorists.
Somali Pirates Based on Disney Movie, Ride
HORN OF AFRICA — Referring to themselves as rascals, scoundrels, villains, and knaves, modern-day Somalian pirates have fashioned themselves after characters from Disney’s “Pirates of the Carribbean.”
