Boehner Proposes Replacing Medicare with Applebee’s Coupon
Speaker John Boehner proposed replacing Medicare with a coupon good for 10% off at Applebee’s restaurants.
Skunk Nation
Local Family Wants to Secede from Neighborhood
“We want to make this a friendly split,” explained Barton, “but my family and I are willing to take whatever measures we deem necessary to protect our liberty.”
Lawmakers Consider Banning Heterosexuals from Military
Recent accusations of improper testosterone-driven conduct have outraged members of Congress, who claim the military is no place for unrestrained heterosexual behavior.
NY to Replace Subway Trains with Submarines
“Our cost analysis shows that it’s cheaper to replace the trains with submarines than it is to pump the water out of the tunnels,” said MTA spokesperson Kyle Blodgers.
Chris Christie Insists Gay Houseboy is ‘Just a Friend’
Governor Chris Christie (R-NJ) insists his relationship with a Filipino houseboy is purely professional.
McCain Proposes New ‘Surge’ Strategy to Win War on Women
Senator John McCain today proposed a strategy to send an additional 20,000 Christian extremists into American towns and villages, a plan that would beat back a growing feminist insurgency and enable the nation to be victorious in the GOP-led war against women.
Florida Passes ‘Kill the Negro’ Law
TALLAHASSEE, FL – Republican Governor Rick Scott today signed legislation that would make it legal to use lethal force against black citizens if they appear threatening, frightening, or just “dark and ominous.”
New Arizona Law Says Life Begins at Fantasy
Arizona lawmakers voted to pass legislation that defines life as beginning the moment a person fantasizes about having sex.
10 Most Restrictive Anti-Woman Laws of 2012
The ten most restrictive anti-woman laws passed by state legislatures in 2012.
Nationwide Theft of Fleet Enemas Sign of Struggling Economy, Mass Constipation
Over the past six months, the iconic green and white, oblong boxes have been reportedly pilfered from hundreds of retailers nationwide.
