Trump Musk 
Trump to Bring Soviet-Era Bread Lines to U.S. 
Jackie Kennedy Attemps Shoe Retrieval 
Disneyland to Remove Matterhorn, Replace with Tilt-A-Whirl 
Abortions Allowed in Texas if Trump is the Father 
iPad 4 Will Have Screen as Large as Six Football Fields
Apple announced today the release of the fourth generation of its successful tablet computer.
Herman Cain Remakes Classic 1950s SciFi Movie
GOP presidential candidate Herman Cain stars in a remake of a cult classic.
Bachmann Would Reintroduce Smallpox to America
Presidential candidate Michele Bachmann told a crowd of Tea Party members on Tuesday the first thing she would do as president is reintroduce the smallpox virus back into nature.
Zombies No Longer Required to Extend Arms Out in Front
AMSTERDAM — In a reversal on a policy that dates back over 1300 years, Zombies are no longer required to lift and hold their arms outstretched in front of themselves.
House Tea Party Members Confused Over what just Happened
The passage of the debt-ceiling compromise bill has left Tea Party congressional members wondering what they voted for.
House Votes to Extend Hatred of Obama for Six Months
Congress approved legislation this morning that would extend the GOP’s hatred of President Obama for another six months.
Murdochs Make Offer to Acquire UK Parliament
Publishing tycoon Rupert Murdoch and his son James made an offer to purchase the British Parliament.
What are their plans?
North Korea Reports 500,000 Dissidents Killed by Freak Lightning Strike
North Korean officials claim that over half a million dissidents, protestors and human rights activists were recently killed by a lightning strike that hit the entire country.
Bachmann Gets Endorsement Deal with Thorazine
The antipsychotic drug Thorazine has been named the official medication of the Michele Bachmann presidential campaign.
Bachmann's Husband Counsels Blacks to Convert to White
The husband of presidential candidate Rep. Michele Bachmann said he uses so-called “color correction therapy” in his counseling practice to help African Americans transform themselves into white people.
