Trump Renames ‘Greenland’ to ‘White Land’ 
Trump to Remove Indigo from Color Spectrum 
Trump Musk 
Trump to Bring Soviet-Era Bread Lines to U.S. 
Jackie Kennedy Attemps Shoe Retrieval 
Magic Accuse Lakers of Greasing Balls
After losing the 2009 NBA Finals 4-1, Orlando players have accused the Lakers of applying a foreign substance to the basketball to make it easier for them to score.
Surgeons Replace Man’s Severed Penis with his Big Toe
A man whose penis was severed from his body recently underwent surgery to replace the missing appendage with the big toe from his right foot.
Ugly Girl Asks Rapist to Prom
Myrna Tidfedder endured a lifetime of rude remarks about her appearance, but that didn’t stop the Maywood High School senior from finding someone willing to be seen with her at the cherished event.
Woman Accused of Changing Husband's 'Sleep Number'
DENVER — A Colorado woman was accused of changing her husband’s Sleep Number on the couple’s adjustable Select Comfort mattress. Arlene Gimbleman had bought the king-size bed five years earlier as a gift for her spouse, whose lower back had been giving him problems since childhood.
Larry King Researches Guest Before Interview
LOS ANGELES — CNN host Larry King stunned television viewers last week by researching the background and accomplishments of a guest prior to interviewing him on his popular cable television show.
For the Record 002
In a recent article, we referred to the former Vice President as “Prick Cheney.” We…
Gitmo Prison to House Bush Library
Once the last of the terrorists has been relocated, the detention facility at Guantanamo Bay…
Craigslist to Create New Section for Stalkers, Victims
SAN FRANCISCO — Craigslist officials announced today they will be adding a new category exclusively for Stalkers and Victims, in an attempt to make their Adult Services section safer for call girls, hookers and erotic masseuses.
Bad Singer Sues American Idol for Discrimination
TRENTON — An atrocious singer from New Jersey sued the producers of American Idol, claiming unfair employment practices by only hiring those with strong singing voices to participate in the popular reality series.
Guantanamo Detainee New CEO of Chrysler
DETROIT/GUANTANAMO BAY — Terrorist Abdullah Reza Mafabi, imprisoned at Guantanamo Bay for conspiring with Al Qaeda, is now the number-one man at Chrysler.
