For the Record 002
In a recent article, we referred to the former Vice President as “Prick Cheney.” We…
Gitmo Prison to House Bush Library
Once the last of the terrorists has been relocated, the detention facility at Guantanamo Bay…
Craigslist to Create New Section for Stalkers, Victims
SAN FRANCISCO — Craigslist officials announced today they will be adding a new category exclusively for Stalkers and Victims, in an attempt to make their Adult Services section safer for call girls, hookers and erotic masseuses.
Bad Singer Sues American Idol for Discrimination
TRENTON — An atrocious singer from New Jersey sued the producers of American Idol, claiming unfair employment practices by only hiring those with strong singing voices to participate in the popular reality series.
Guantanamo Detainee New CEO of Chrysler
DETROIT/GUANTANAMO BAY — Terrorist Abdullah Reza Mafabi, imprisoned at Guantanamo Bay for conspiring with Al Qaeda, is now the number-one man at Chrysler.
New Microsoft Automobile Needs Reboot
SEATTLE — Bill Gates has thrown his hat into the auto manufacturing ring. Microsoft’s first generation of vehicles will be the aptly named “Car, VER. 01,” and will feature internet connectivity and voice activated controls.
Specter Switches Genders
WASHINGTON — Following his surprising switch to the Democratic Party, Senator Arlen Specter has announced that as of Monday he will no longer identify with the male gender, and will be joining the ranks of congressional females.
Trump Defends Miss California as "Perfectly Doable"
The growing controversy as to whether or not Miss California should keep her crown ended today when pageant owner Donald Trump declared the young beauty queen “perfectly doable.”
Gunman Targets Online University
THE INTERNET — Armed with a single Xbox controller, an assailant went on a rampage at Allerman Online University, firing hundreds of virtual rounds at student avatars and targeting the school’s About page and interactive flash instructions.
University Gunman Misses Everyone
BLOOMINGTON, IN — An armed gunman who went on a rampage at Indiana University on Thursday was unable to inflict injuries to anyone, despite firing hundreds of rounds into a crowded campus rally.
