Today is: Monday, October 24, 2016
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Image of Marco Rubio Blowing Great Dane Photoshopped, Claims Campaign

Marco Rubio

WASHINGTON ( — A photo released online by the Ted Cruz campaign depicting Marco Rubio performing oral sex on a Great Dane is not authentic, according to Lucas Berryman, a senior advisor to the Rubio campaign. “This image is obviously photoshopped,” claimed Berryman. “This is just another example of the dirty tricks of Ted Cruz.” […]

Chris Christie Denies Eating Three Lanes of Bridge


TRENTON, N.J. ( — In a press conference Friday, Governor Chris Christie denied creating a devastating traffic jam by devouring three lanes of the George Washington Bridge. “You think I’m stupid?” asked the Garden State’s chief executive. “I’m here to serve the people of this great state — not to dine on its infrastructure.” Christie […]

GOP Alternative to Obamacare: Insurance by Skin Color


WASHINGTON ( – Conservative think tank The Heritage Foundation proposed on Monday a system of healthcare that would base insurance rates on the color of a person’s skin.  Heritage CEO Jim DeMint described the program as “the perfect antidote to Obamacare. “ “Very simply, the nearer your skin color is to God’s preferred Lilly White,” […]

GOP: Obama Can End Shutdown by Renouncing His Own Presidency

Obama and Boehner

WASHINGTON ( — Speaker John Boehner said today that if Barack Obama would declare that his presidency is not legitimate, the government shutdown caused by Congress’s failure to pass a continuing budget resolution would come to an end “within minutes.” Boehner said the proposition was his final offer to end the battle over the budget.  […]

San Diego Chicken Latest to Accuse Mayor Filner of Harassment

Chicken Accuses Filner

SAN DIEGO ( — A new victim has come forward to accuse Mayor Bob Filner of sexual harassment: The famous San Diego Chicken. “I once posed for a picture with him at a Padres game,” clucked the chicken. “The next thing I know, he’s pressing himself against my thighs, sliding his sweaty palms down my […]

GOP: New Fonts Will Attract Voters

GOP Font Guide

“People want the GOP to stop using the same old typeface,” explained Reince Priebus, Chairman of the Republican National Committee, “and replace it with something that is more visually alluring.”

Rand Paul Pisses on Floor of Senate Chamber for 13 Hours

Rand Paul Pissing

Paul said the purpose of his marathon urination session was to delay the vote on the confirmation of John Brennan as CIA director, by “making the Senate floor really uncomfortable to walk on.”

Obama Uses Reverse Psychology to Pass Jobs Bill

Reverse Psychology

WASHINGTON — After three years of having congressional Republicans do the opposite of whatever he attempted, President Obama decided to use reverse psychology on the GOP to get them to move forward with his agenda.

Bachmann Blames Apple CEO's Death on Obama's 'Jobs Killing' Policies

Obama's Jobs Killing Bills

Bachmann accused Obama of lacking the leadership necessary to “keep Jobs thriving in this economy.”

Bachmann Would Reintroduce Smallpox to America

Get Your Smallpox Vaccine

Presidential candidate Michele Bachmann told a crowd of Tea Party members on Tuesday the first thing she would do as president is reintroduce the smallpox virus back into nature.