Politics
Obama Uses Reverse Psychology to Pass Jobs Bill
WASHINGTON — After three years of having congressional Republicans do the opposite of whatever he attempted, President Obama decided to use reverse psychology on the GOP to get them to move forward with his agenda.
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Bachmann Blames Apple CEO’s Death on Obama’s ‘Jobs Killing’ Policies
Bachmann accused Obama of lacking the leadership necessary to “keep Jobs thriving in this economy.”
Bachmann Would Reintroduce Smallpox to America
Presidential candidate Michele Bachmann told a crowd of Tea Party members on Tuesday the first thing she would do as president is reintroduce the smallpox virus back into nature.
House Tea Party Members Confused Over what just Happened
The passage of the debt-ceiling compromise bill has left Tea Party congressional members wondering what they voted for.
Nude Photo of Gov. Chris Christie Crashes Internet
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie today denied uploading a nude photo of himself to his Twitter account — an image which caused the Internet to completely shut down for three hours on Tuesday.
Bachmann Confuses George Washington Carver with George Washington
Rep. Michelle Bachmann said our nation’s first president should be praised for his experimentation with peanuts and their by-products.
Gingrich Accidentally Buried at Sea
Newt Gingrich was lowered into the sea today from the side of the USS Ronald Reagan.
Obama Promises to Kill New Bad Guy Every Month
President Obama has pledged to have a new bad guy murdered every month.
Who will be next?
Boehner Assures Public His Taxes Won’t Go Up
John Boehner assured the American people that whatever version of the budget is finally passed, his personal taxes will not increase.
Michele Bachmann Opposes No-Fly Zone in Favor of No-Mosquito Zone
Michele Bachmann told reports she wants to repeal the no-fly zone over Libya and replace it with something else.
Compulsive Masturbation ‘Unconstitutional’ Says Bachmann
WASHINGTON (TheSkunk.org) — Rep. Michele Bachmann told reporters today that compulsive masturbation was unconstitutional, asserting that lawmakers cannot “force citizens to get themselves off.”
Boehner Blames Japan Quake on Obama Tax Policy
WASHINGTON (TheSkunk.org) – Calling it another example of why he believes it is bad for the economy to raise taxes during a recession, Speaker John Boehner laid blame for the recent 8.9 earthquake off the coast of Japan at the failed policies of the Obama administration.
Republicans Reject No-Lie Zone
WASHINGTON (TheSkunk.org) — Opposing efforts by Democrats in Congress to pass a no-lie zone over the nation’s capital, Republican lawmakers say they will defeat any legislation requiring honest discourse and veracity from elected officials.
Michele Bachmann to Open Nationwide Chain of Abortion Clinics
Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN), vocal advocate for smaller government and Tea party favorite, has licensed her name and likeness to a new chain of nationwide abortion clinics.
Bachmann, Tea Party to Assist Egyptian Protesters
Representative Michelle Bachmann (R-MN) is leading a contingent of Tea Party activists on a trip to Cairo to offer their expertise to the hundreds of thousands of Egyptian citizens who have been rallying against their government for over a week.
Mitt Romney Eager to Lose 2012 Election
Former presidential hopeful Mitt Romney is eager to lose the 2012 election to incumbent Barack Obama.
Candidates Stimulate Economy with Ridiculously Expensive Campaign Spending
The $4 billion spent on the various Senate, House and state campaigns in the 2010 midterm elections have helped jumpstart the flailing U.S. economy, according to a report issued today by the Department of Commerce.
Tea Party Offers Pledge to America
The Tea Party offers its own version of the GOP’s Pledge to America
Whitman ‘Shocked’ at Immigrant Smuggling Operation Conducted from Her Living Room
Meg Whitman, who promised voters she will be tough on illegal immigration should she get elected in November, denied any involvement in an immigrant smuggling operation.
Prop 8 Backers Try Again with Prop 8.5
The backers of California’s Proposition 8, the law banning same-sex marriages, which was recently declared unconstitutional by a federal judge, are confident their next legislative attempt will pass judicial muster.
Mel Gibson to Head RNC
In a survey taken shortly after Gibson’s infamous phone tirades against his ex-girlfriend were made public, 83% of RNC members said they “strongly admired” the epithet-spouting Oscar-winning actor.
GOP Introduces ‘Minority Rules’ Bill
“The Democrats have controlled Congress with their elected majorities for too long,” declared Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell. “With the passage of ‘Minority Rules,’ our party’s failed strategies on financial reform and deregulation of commerce and industry will become the law of the land.”
Republicans Claim Victory in Passing Healthcare Reform
WASHINGTON — In an apparent about-face, members of the Republican party are not only embracing the recently passed Health Care reform legislation as their own, but insisting its success stems from two minor provisions GOP leaders insisted be stricken from the bill on a technicality.
Tea Party Divided Over Brewed or Steeped
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Tempers rose and tea bags flew everywhere at the first national Tea Party conference, as attendees became embroiled in a bitter dipute over the specific type of beverage referred to in their their group’s moniker.
GOP Opposes ‘Public Option’ for Haitians
WASHINGTON — Republican lawmakers today strongly condemned President Obama’s use of government money to provide medical aid to Haitian earthquake victims.
Cross Tattooed on Clarence Thomas’s Lower Back Violates Separation of Church and State, Says Sotomayor
Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor issued a formal complaint about a cross tattooed on Clarence Thomas’s lower back —
Palin Fans Can’t Read Book
FORKS BEND, KY – Some fans of Sarah Palin were disappointed with the former Alaska Governor’s best seller, “Going Rogue,” when they realized they were unable to decipher its contents.
God Hates Newt Gingrinch
NEW YORK — The Lord God disclosed today in an interview with Keith Olbermann that he “really, really” despises former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich.
Palin Accidentally Burns Her Own Book
ANTWILLIE, TENN — Former Governor of Alaska Sarah Palin attended a book burning rally Friday, where she unwittingly participated in the incineration of hundreds of copies of her upcoming autobiography, “Going Rogue.”
Palin Vagina Announces Run for Senate
The vagina of former vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin announced this morning its plan to run for the Senate seat from Alaska in 2010.
