Republicans propose Ayatollah system for U.S.
WASHINGTON, DC – In a speech at a recent Republican fundraiser, former House Speaker New Gingrich proposed that the United States adopt an Iranian-style Ayatollah form of government. “We can keep the showy remnants of our democracy,” explained Gingrich, “while ceding ultimate power to a white male whose God-given Christian authority would
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Cheney to host waterboarding finals
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Cheney: Somali pirates responsible for 9/11
Former vice-president Dick Cheney said in an interview Monday that the Somali pirates who have been wreaking havoc on commercial shipping off the coast of East Africa are responsible for the World Trade Center attacks of September 11, 2001. “We know they had been plotting to hijack huge
Bush Appoints Self for Third Term
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a move unprecedented in any previous administration, President Bush signed an executive order appointing himself president for a third term. Calling the November elections
Warren Jeffs Finds Republicanism in Prison
DRAPER, UT — Disgraced cult leader and delusional kiddie-pimp, Warren Jeffs, currently serving 10 years to life at Utah State Prison, has started a fresh chapter in his life with the declaration of his newly inspired devotion to the Republican party. Jeffs
Cheney to Build Abu Ghraib Amusement Park
PHILADELPHIA, PA – After completing his final term in office, Vice President Dick Cheney plans to build a theme park inspired by the infamous Baghdad prison complex . Located just outside
Bush Soils Constitution
DISTRICT OF COLUMBIA — In a press conference last Friday, Dr. Lamont Dandle, head curator for the National Archives, announced that one of the remaining original, handwritten copies of the United States Constitution had been damaged beyond repair —
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