SACRAMENTO — The California Employment Development Department (EDD), the agency responsible for distributing unemployment benefits to millions of the state’s laid-off employees, has itself begun laying off thousands of its own staff members.
Category: Skunk Nation
Man Loses House to Pay Admission to Disney Park
ANAHEIM, CA — An unemployed man recently lost his home to foreclosure after refinancing it with a sub-prime mortgage to pay for annual admission to Disneyland for his family of eight.
Justice Ginsburg to Pose for 'Women of the Supreme Court' Calendar
WASHINGTON — Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg, 75, agreed to pose nude for “The Women of the Supreme Court” calendar, a project designed to raise awareness for women’s cancer.
Obama Wants Citizens to Print their Own Money
DENVER — The way out of the country’s economic woes is to let citizens print their own money, said President Barack Obama to a cheering crowd of unemployed construction workers in the Mile High City.
Republican Senators Approve Tax Breaks for Canadians
OTTAWA — Dissatisfied with the stimulus package that made its way through Congress, and the lack of conservative input contained therein, Republican senators voted unanimously over the weekend to give tax breaks to Canadians.
US Airways Sues Sullenberger for Loss of Plane
DANVILLE, CA — Captain Chelsey “Sully” Sullenberger, the airline pilot praised as a hero for safely landing Flight 1549 into the Hudson River, is being sued by US Airways for damaging the plane, an Airbus 320, beyond repair.
White House Touts Double-Digit Employment
WASHINGTON, DC — A new report from the White House indicates that 93% of Americans currently have jobs, superseding previous accounts from the Bureau of Labor Statistics that 7% were out of work.
Bush DNA Cleansed from White House
WASHINGTON, DC — No sooner had he been sworn into office than President Barack Obama ordered his staff to remove all traces of his predecessor George W. Bush’s DNA from every room of the White House.
Obama Says Sale of Virginity Good for Economy
WASHINGTON — Citing his campaign theme that good ideas can come from anywhere, President-elect Barack Obama praised coed Natalie Dylan for auctioning off her virginity to pay her college tuition. He said the 22-year’-old’s plan will be a model for his administration’s education and economic policies.
Congress Tells Toyota, Honda, BMW to Make Shittier Vehicles
WASHINGTON — The House Financial Services Committee issued a statement today, urging foreign car manufactures to “tone down” the quality and appeal of their products, so that the big three American car companies can compete more effectively.
