Trump Musk 
Trump to Bring Soviet-Era Bread Lines to U.S. 
Jackie Kennedy Attemps Shoe Retrieval 
Disneyland to Remove Matterhorn, Replace with Tilt-A-Whirl 
Abortions Allowed in Texas if Trump is the Father 
Bus Accident Causes Damage to Bus
FLAXEN, MO (TheSkunk.org) — A school bus accident that killed 23 people caused major damages to the bus, which will take at least six weeks to put back into working order.
Bachmann Would Replace Space Shuttle with Angels
STILLWATER, MINN (TheSkunk.org) — Rep. Michelle Bachman today said that if she becomes president, she would replace NASA’s erstwhile space shuttle program with angels from heaven.
America's Visa Gold Card Cancelled
Visa Gold Rewards Card informed the U.S. government that it is $17 billion over its credit limit and charge privileges have been terminated.
Nude Photo of Gov. Chris Christie Crashes Internet
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie today denied uploading a nude photo of himself to his Twitter account — an image which caused the Internet to completely shut down for three hours on Tuesday.
Bachmann Confuses George Washington Carver with George Washington
Rep. Michelle Bachmann said our nation’s first president should be praised for his experimentation with peanuts and their by-products.
What Does Independence Day Mean to You?
“It’s an opportunity to honor those American patriots who decided to purchase their fireworks from China, rather than buying them from Great Britain and enriching the royal family.”
— Sarah Palin
Celebrity
Wasilla, AK
Boy Scouts Offer Gay Sex Merit Badge
The Boys Scouts of America has created a new merit badge designed to teach scouts “all about gay sex.”
Teachers Union Blames Low Scores on Dumb Students
A spokesperson for the National Education Association said the reason students are performing below par on national testing standards is because they are “really, really dumb.”
Trump to Weiner: 'Show Us Your Real Penis'
NEW YORK (TheSkunk.org) — Donald Trump asserted today that a photograph supposedly depicting Rep. Anthony Weiner’s erect manhood that has been circulating on Internet is not legitimate.
Doctor Makes Diagnoses Using Episodes of 'House'
A prominent physician turns to the Fox medical drama “House” to help diagnose his most difficult cases.
