Trump Musk 
Trump to Bring Soviet-Era Bread Lines to U.S. 
Jackie Kennedy Attemps Shoe Retrieval 
Disneyland to Remove Matterhorn, Replace with Tilt-A-Whirl 
Abortions Allowed in Texas if Trump is the Father 
Spilled Oil Was Destined for Gas Station in Iowa
DES MOINES — BP informed the public on Wednesday that the millions of barrels of oil spilling into the Gulf of Mexico were destined for a single gas station in Kimbalton, Iowa.
Nude Photos of Some Woman Discovered on Internet
TheSkunk.org has found 12 nude photos of some woman on the Internet and is pleased to present them here on our website for your voyeuristic pleasure.
Enormous Mayonnaise Spill Threatens Lake Michigan
Vast amounts of mayonnaise continue to spill into Lake Michigan after an explosion at the Kraft Foods factory blasted a hole in a pipeline used to manufacture the sandwich spread.
CNN 'Race Study' Draws Criticism
A recent CNN study into the racial preferences of children stirs controversy.
Canadian Goose Who Survived Collision with US Airways Flight 1549 Dies in Gulf Spill
A four-year-old Canada goose, who nearly died in a bird strike when his flock was vaporized in the engine of an Airbus A320-214 that crash-landed in the Hudson River in 2009, was found dead of oil poisoning on the Louisiana shoreline.
Arizona to Lower Concrete Boxes over Illegal Immigrants
Arizona lawmakers today enacted legislation giving local police permission to lower thousands of 100-ton containers directly over the heads of suspected illegal immigrants.
Oprah to Be Lowered onto Oil Pipe to Cap Spill
VENICE, Louisiana – Saying it was her way of giving back to the American people for “allowing me to live my dream,” Oprah Winfrey has agreed to be lowered onto a broken oil pipe on the seafloor of the Gulf of Mexico that has been spewing thousands of barrels of toxic crude into the ocean on a daily basis.
NASA Successfully Crashes Telescope into Earth
ALICE SPRINGS, Australia — Scientists at NASA successfully completed their mission to verify the gravitational pull of an expensive item when dropped from high in the air.
Betty White to Portray Brittany Murphy in Bio-Pic
HOLLYWOOD — Betty White has been tapped to play the part of Brittany Murphy in a motion picture docudrama about the late actress. The 88-year-old White said she was thrilled to be cast in the role, and will do her best to breathe life into the character.
Travel Industry Encourages Poor to Take More Vacations
WASHINGTON — A report issued today by the United States Census Bureau revealed that poor Americans are not going on vacation nearly as often as their wealthy counterparts.
