Trump Renames ‘Greenland’ to ‘White Land’ 
Trump to Remove Indigo from Color Spectrum 
Trump Musk 
Trump to Bring Soviet-Era Bread Lines to U.S. 
Jackie Kennedy Attemps Shoe Retrieval 
Romney Received Millions in Tax Refunds
Sources at the Treasury Department reveal Mitt Romney received millions of dollars from the IRS from 2001 through 2008.
Fleck Wins Gold in 3m Backflop
Germany’s Stephan Feck received the very first gold medal for the newly created 3m Backflop Diving competition.
Romney Replaces Entire Cayman Islands Olympic Team with Chinese
The decision to outsource the team was “all business,” according to Romney, who formed a shell corporation in the Caymans to handle the transaction.
Republicans Deny Existence of Mars
Immediately following the announcement of the Mars landing by the Jet Propulsion Laboratory, Rep. Michelle Bachmann tweeted to her followers: “Existence of planet other than Earth biggest hoax ever perpetrated by left wing media.”
Crop Circles Appear In London Park
The Metropolitan Police Service is investigating the enigmatic loops, along with hundreds of other similarly interconnected rings that have sprung up across the British countryside in recent weeks.
NRA Opposes Ban on Poison Blow Darts
NRA Vice President Wayne LaPierre said the ban on poison blow darts should be lifted “once and for all.”
Penn State Donates Paterno Statue to Vatican
Penn State officials tore down the controversial statue of the late Joe Paterno and shipped it to the Vatican, where it will be on display at St. Peter’s Basilica.
Romney Greets NAACP Conference with 'Hakuna Matada'
Mitt Romney began his speech to the annual NAACP conference with the phrase “Hakuna Matada.”
Romney Failed to Declare Income From Work in Porn Films
Mitt Romney allegedly failed to report income he made performing in a string of pormographic movies.
Chris Christie Insists Gay Houseboy is ‘Just a Friend’
Governor Chris Christie (R-NJ) insists his relationship with a Filipino houseboy is purely professional.
