Toddler Throws Poo at Bush
BLOOMINGTON, IN — A toddler threw poo at President Bush during a visit to a day care center, where Bush was speaking before a group of preschoolers and their parents.
Shoes Thrown at Bush Send Message to Senator Craig
BAGHDAD – An Iraqi journalist hurled a pair of shoes at President Bush on Sunday during a press conference in his country’s capital. While Bush took the incident in stride, chalking it up to freedom of expression, Senator Larry Craig (R-ID) insisted the airborne Oxfords communicated something entirely different.
Obama's Senate Seat for Sale on eBay
SPRINGFIELD, IL — After the disclosure of Governor Blagojevich’s plan to accept a bribe in exchange for the senate seat vacated by Barack Obama, Ilinois state legislators decided to take the appointing powers out of the hands of the governor. “We weren’t completely against the idea of making money from an appointment,” said State Senator Joe Bolo, “but we wanted to do it in a fair and transparent manner. That’s when we decided to list the seat for sale on ebay.”
Should Governor Blagojevich be Removed from Office?
“Of course not. If the Governor can make a good profit on selling the vacated senate seat of Barack Obama, why penalize him? Let him sell Obama’s seat to the highest bidder, and then tax him on his earnings.”
— Dr. Edvardo Shizzle,
Bismarck, North Dakota
Man Sells Stuff on eBay to Pay for other Stuff
TRENTON — A New Jersey man sold some of his stuff on eBay last week, and plans to use the money he makes to buy other stuff.
Porn Industry to get $100 Billion in Federal Aid
WASHINGTON — Leaders in the adult entertainment industry, hit hard in the current recession, testified…
The Great Walmart* Footnote Contest
Walmart has changed its logo for 2008 by adding an asterisk to the end of their name, but we observant editors at The Skunk have noticed there is no corresponding footnote.* So we decided our readers should create one.
Post Office Adds Bush to Presidential Stamp Series
WASHINGTON, DC — The United States Post Office announced today that it will be adding the image of George W. Bush to its popular commemorative stamp series entitled “Bad Presidents.”
Did O.J. Get Sentenced Appropriately?
“Yes. I thought the judge’s tonal quality and demeanor were very appropriate. I find courts prone toward histrionics and self-promotion very offensive.”
— Cindy Pushing,
Nude Model,
Arleta, CA
Automakers Form Suicide Pact
DETROIT — The chief executives from Ford, GM and Chrysler, fresh from groveling to Congress to bail their respective firms out from under their mismanagement and poor judgment, have issued a statement today outlining plans for their joint suicide. Should any of the Big Three automakers be unable to repay the billions of dollars they are requesting from the federal government, all three CEOs have vowed to kill themselves.
