Filed Under: "republican"
Romney Asks Nation to Decide What He Should Believe In
Presumptive Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney told supporters Monday that if elected president, he would have the whole country vote on what his opinions should be before he expresses them.
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Compulsive Masturbation ‘Unconstitutional’ Says Bachmann
WASHINGTON (TheSkunk.org) — Rep. Michele Bachmann told reporters today that compulsive masturbation was unconstitutional, asserting that lawmakers cannot “force citizens to get themselves off.” “The federal government has no authority to compel anyone to masturbate,” said the
Palin’s daughter gives birth to Democrat
ANCHORAGE, Alaska – The teenage daughter of former Republican vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin gave birth to a Democrat on Sunday, marking an ironic resolution to the controversy surrounding the unwed teen mother. 18-year-old Bristol Palin gave birth to Frickin Johnston on Sunday. The 7 pound,
Judges Disturbed by Rise of Activist Christians
FULLERTON, CA — At a rally Tuesday, jurists from around the country expressed their dismay at the rise of what they call “Activist Christians.” “Christians should follow the bible exactly as it is written,” said Judge James B. Coronado, ”and not try to interpret
McCain Drilling Plan: Pump Oil Directly into Ocean
NEW ORLEANS — John McCain announced today a plan for offshore rigs to pump oil directly into the ocean. “We already have the technology,” said McCain. “The United States is the best in the world when it comes to releasing petroleum directly into the seas. And our experience
Senators Seek to Legalize Bribery, Solicitation of Gay Sex
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Senators Ted Stevens (R-Alaska) and Larry Craig (R-Idaho) have introduced legislation that would make it legal for elected officials to accept bribes and solicit gay prostitutes in public facilities. The Senators introduced their legislation, S. 846772, the “Bribery and Gay
McCain Designs New Logo for Obama
In a growing sign of good sportsmanship between the candidates, John McCain presented Barack Obama with a new campaign logo. Designed by Sen. McCain, it depicts a stylized happy face created from circles and stripes deconstructed from the original logo. “I was thinking of ways I could show Senator
Cindy McCain to Hubby: Win or I’m Out
The wife of presidential candidate John McCain has given the senator an ultimatum: Either he wins the election in November, or she’s seeking a divorce. “I’m an attractive, younger woman, with
“Compassionate Conservative”
com·pas·sion·ate con·ser·va·tive n. Expression used to make right-wing lawmakers and their heartless policies seem a lot nicer. USAGE: “The compassionate conservative voted against medical care for the homeless.” Share
“Activist Judge”
ac-tiv-ist judge (ak’ tiv ist juj) n. the doctrine that anytime a court’s ruling is contrary to one’s own opinion, the justice shall be referred to as an “activist judge.” USAGE: “The order for the Senator to stay 300 feet away from elementary schools was given by
