SUPREMECY, OH — In a last-ditch-effort to present a solution to the nation’s ailing economy, Senator John McCain today disclosed a new plan to allow small businesses to utilize the country’s poor without having to compensate them.
Ever wonder where all those Sarah Palin look-alikes come from?
The Government Accounting Office reported today that the man McCain refers to as “Joe the Plumber” has been paid $4 million dollars from the U.S. government to replace a washer at a military facility in New Jersey.
AKRON, OH — In a speech today, Senator McCain alluded to a young prostitute named Wanda he had recently met, who sells her body on street corners and dark alleyways. “Wanda is a working, single mother, and shouldn’t have to pay increased taxes,” said McCain. “I trust her to do a better job with her own money than the government, but under Senator Obama’s tax policies, she wouldn’t have enough cash to pay her rent, compensate her pimp and purchase a supply of clean needles. “
WASHINGTON, DC — Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson announced today that the United States has allotted…
Absolutely not. My dad lost his life savings at the races — imaginary ostrich races that were held every day in his hospital room. I’m not going to make the same mistake.
–Maria P.
Albuquerque, NM
Paramount Pictures has announced that Steven Spielberg will be directing a feature film based on a soon-to-be-released unauthorized biography of the filmmaker.
NEW YORK, NY — While taping a segment for the TV show, “The View,” John…
Learn to act at the Hollwywoodland School of Acting for the Camera.
NEW YORK — In yet another stunning announcement from the McCain campaign, the Republican presidential…
Trump Musk 
Trump to Bring Soviet-Era Bread Lines to U.S. 
Jackie Kennedy Attemps Shoe Retrieval 
Disneyland to Remove Matterhorn, Replace with Tilt-A-Whirl 
Abortions Allowed in Texas if Trump is the Father 
